I discovered the greatness of being sick one morning. Along with being quite a bit out-of-it, and barely being able to breathe without the feeling that my head might implode, I tend to be a little more creative in an odd way, and maybe even quicker to respond. Feeling this awful while walking to a Business/Marketing class with a friend one morning, I determined a few things.
If we were to ever have to write a paper for the class, maybe about what we have learned over the course of the class, I would have to choose a topic of how we can make a profit doing just about anything, using the correct business and marketing techniques.
How to Shoot Yourself in the Face and Make a Profit
That’s the name of an A+ paper if I do say so myself. Or rather, maybe even a novel of sorts. But it’s true. I am quite positive that there are some demented people in this world who would pay to see someone point a gun at their face and shoot, as grotesque and gruesome as that may be. But, as mentioned before, it’s true. People are sick. But that’s beside the point. Now, once again, I realize that if you shoot yourself in the face, obviously you are not making any profit at all, because chances are you will die, and although that is a sad thing, you would not be around to keep your face-shooting profits. But someone else would be. So to make and keep those profits, it would be wise to create a will-type document beforehand, stating who your face-shooting profits would go to, in the event that you do not survive. Now in my case, my profits would have to go to the friend I was walking with at the time, because he witnessed the birth of this idea, and I have to pay him back somehow, because obviously since he walked to class with me, he is going to get sick from my deathly cold/flu rays that I am spreading all over the campus. So since there is no hope for him, I’ve got to make it up in some other form, on top of dying.
Following these slightly morbid yet slightly amusing thoughts, I also discovered the joys of following people. Now I’m definitely not saying that I literally followed someone, but it would be fun.
You just have to imagine yourself in such a situation:
You are walking down the sidewalk, and are passed up by a guy. You don’t pay much attention to him, but realize he seems a little strange, carrying a bag with a cup and something else in it, and mostly walking in the grass when there’s an entire sidewalk next to him. So he passes by, and you keep tramping along like you have half a clue. You happen to look up again while he’s maybe about 40 feet ahead of you, and you see him looking over his shoulder back at you, paranoid, as if you are following him. So what do you do? Walk along, thinking in your head, “Yeah I’m following you, buddy… YOU passed ME!! That is definitely reason enough for me to be a stalker. Maybe I will follow you. You are making me become a stalker because you’re paranoid and that bothers me.” Now maybe you wouldn’t think that, but I sure did, and as much as I would have enjoyed actually starting to follow him, I’m too nice for that… no, maybe I’m not, but I figured it wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe another time, though.
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